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Question and Answer Archive
- My wedding is on december 10, 2006. 1. Is it so important to have a wedding organizer? 2. How to find the right / perfect theme for my wedding? 3. My fiance and me haven't done any pre-wed photos and he's taking all things about our preparations too relax.., is it a sign that we are not meant for each other? desperately need for help. sorry if my english is bad.
- We are getting married on the beach in mexico. I am wearing a simple sexy wedding dress, my maid of honor is wearing a bright pink chiffon flowy dress. My question is if you have any suggestions on what the groom should wear?
My wedding is on december 10, 2006. 1. Is it so important to have a wedding organizer? 2. How to find the right / perfect theme for my wedding? 3. My fiance and me haven't done any pre-wed photos and he's taking all things about our preparations too relax.., is it a sign that we are not meant for each other? desperately need for help. sorry if my english is bad.
Jessica,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Planning a wedding in such a short amount of time can be very difficult, depending on the size of the wedding party and amount of guests invited.
1. Is it so important to have a wedding organizer? I always say yes. The only reason I say this is because my whole take on brides planning their own weddings is that, for some reason, brides decide to take on the huge task of event planning for a single-day event that will come and go so quickly she barely has time to eat... People go to school/college for years to learn how to become true event planners... the real "pro's" so to speak... and those brave wives-to-be end up spending their entire engagement coordinating, scheduling, booking and, yes, sometimes screaming, instead of sitting back and enjoying this oh-so-special time with their fiances!
My philosophy behind this is that brides tend to believe the additional cost of a wedding coordinator is unnecessary and is nothing more than an added expense. What many brides do not understand, though, is that, although this is an "added expense," many (good) wedding planners & coordinators (1) end up saving you that money through discounts with your other vendors (think about it - your planner has been working with these vendors for years... of course they can pull strings!), and (2) offer different types of services, even including strictly "day-of" planning. A wedding coordinator/planner can plan your entire weddings from A - Z, partially plan your wedding (if you've already done half the planning, for example), or simply be there only on the day of the wedding to help coordinate.
Let me put it to you this way... some of the unforseen disasters I have seen brides go through could have easily been avoided had they used a wedding planner. For example, one coordinator I work with always arrives at the ceremony and/or reception locations at least 3 hours before the wedding party is scheduled to arrive, just to be sure everything is perfect. One day, she arrived at a ceremony location only to find that the air conditioning had not been turned on yet! Now, all of my Florida brides will understand, if the A/C is not turned on hours in advance, the bride, groom, wedding party, and ALL of her guests will be miserable and soaked within five minutes of entering that building. Luckily for that bride, she never knew a thing. She arrived, everything went perfectly as planned, and she had the time of her life.
You see, wedding coordinators take care of much more than booking vendors with you. Although they know all of the local vendors, and build close relationships with them which enables your planner to help you choose the professionals that are right for you, they also provide other services you might not ever think of... they carry "emergency kits" filled with sewing needles, safety pins, candies (because brides often forget to eat on their wedding days), hair and makeup supplies, etc., they keep you in line, making sure you've signed all your contracts and paid all your deposits and balances, and most importantly, they handle every bit of "damage control" without you ever having to worry about it. So, back to your original question... YES it is terribly important that you at least consider hiring a wedding coordinator. It never hurts to schedule a consultation with them to see what they have to offer you, and compare pricing.
2. How to find the right/perfect theme for your wedding. Of course, this is something only you can decide. The best advice I can give is that you sit down and write out every theme that comes to mind that you might like to consider for your wedding. What are your interests? What do you like? What are your hobbies? Did your fiance propose to you in a unique way? Does your wedding day fall on a certain themed holiday or date? There are so many factors that can go in to choosing a theme. You can do anything from butterflies and dragonflies, to a "favorite color" theme (all pink, for example), to a city (Vegas, Paris, Bahamas, etc.), to a type of music (Rock & Roll, Country Music, etc). The best and worst part of it all is that there are SO many choices! Write everything down that interests you, consult your fiance, friends, and family, and take into consideration what would be easiest or most difficult to obtain for your wedding. If you wanted to do a "Tiki Heads and Totem Poles" theme for example (yes, it sounds crazy), keep in mind that most Tiki Heads cost upwards of $500! Also, don't forget to search the internet for themes. People with personal web pages (like in Yahoo! Geocities for example) have lots of personality. Look for other themed weddings on the internet, and get ideas from other brides. Like I said, this can be a tough decision, but whatever you go with, make sure it's something that has meaning to both you and your fiance.
3. My fiance and me haven't done any pre-wed photos and he's taking all things about our preparations too relaxed... it is a sign that we are not meant for each other? One piece of advice I offer to friends and brides is this: It's not always about what you love about him... it's also about "What can I put up with? Can I tolerate this?" Sorry lovebirds, I know that's not exactly the most romantic answer, but in some circumstances, it is realistic and something that should be considered. If there's something he does that drives you crazy, you have to ask yourself whether it's really that big of a deal, and if it's something you can tolerate for the rest of your life. If you hate the way he curls his nose when he laughs, okay, you're going too far. But if what you hate is the way he totally ignores you in public, don't take that "gut feeling" lightly. Always give the benefit of the doubt, and confront him about it in a way that he doesn't feel attacked. Don't put him on the defense. Approach it softly, ask the question, and most importantly, don't go any further. Stop, and give him a chance to answer the question. Most men, when confronted with personal questions, or the "We need to talk" bit tend to shut down, or simply say what you want to hear just to get it overwith. If you approach it correctly, and give him a chance to talk right away without inserting your opinion, he will open up and talk to you.
If you don't like it, just talk to him. Most likely, he has no idea that what he's doing is upsetting you, or is even a big deal. Simply let him know "This is important to me. Can we schedule time to get this taken care of? What day works best for you?" Involve him in the decision-making process, and he'll likely show more interest. Still need a little help nudging him along? Reward him! Tell him if he helps you get this done, he can have a night out with the boys, or you'll let him have Hooters wings this Friday (take-out, of course!) You see, women sometimes fall into a sudden flurry of planning, scurrying around the house with fabric samples in each hand, and throwing out foreign phrases like "Of course the reception venue is providing skirted tables and a wishing well!" To him, you're speaking an entirely different language. Don't be surprised if your beau becomes a little stand-offish and downright scared of you when you're in "wedding" mode (if you're one of those brides, that is!)
Most likely, he's just a relaxed kind of guy, and needs a little push. But if you don't know this already, perhaps you should consider getting to know each other a little better before tying the knot. Only you will know what the right thing to do is.
We are getting married on the beach in mexico. I am wearing a simple sexy wedding dress, my maid of honor is wearing a bright pink chiffon flowy dress. My question is if you have any suggestions on what the groom should wear?
