Renewing your wedding vows should be a truly joyous occasion. After all, if you have you been married for 25, 30, 50 years it is a truly amazing accomplishment – an accomplishment that you should celebrate! Even if you have been through some rough times, you have survived them together and it is a happy thing to rededicate your lives and love to one another in a vow renewal ceremony.

So, now that you know you are have a wedding vow renewal ceremony, what are you going to say? Well, maybe you want to say the same vows you did originally? Or, maybe this is your chance to really express how you feel about the love of your life in front of the people who are most important to you both.

The following is a vow renewal template that you can print out and complete as a couple to help you to think about your past years together and where you are going in your future. Just answer the questions together or separately, write down your thoughts, and then begin writing your renewal vows from there.

Set aside some time with your spouse to work on your vows. It would be fun to make it into a date – start by working on the questions below, then have dinner together to reflect, then separate to work on your vows, finally come back together to finish your date with one another.

Make sure to print 2 copies of the questions below for each of you to work on separately.

1. Reflect on your years together (write down your feelings as you reflect):

• Think about the highlights you experienced in those years (a favorite Christmas or holiday, a child being born, a child getting married, a vacation, etc.)
  1. What role did your spouse play in these good times?
  2. What specific memories do you have of your spouse at these moments?
  3. What feelings do these memories conjure up?
  • Can you remember a time when you and your spouse laughed the hardest together?
    1. Why did you laugh so hard?
    2. How did you feel about your spouse at that moment?
  • Can you remember a time when you had more money than you knew what to do with?
    1. What did you do with that money?
    2. How did you feel?

• Think about the lowlights in those years (a death, illness, loss, etc.)
  1. How did your spouse support you during these tough times?
  2. What specific memories do you have of your spouse at these moments?
  • Can you remember a time when you and your spouse cried the hardest together?
    1. Were you able to overcome your sadness together? How?
    2. Were you able to forgive each other in all situations?
  • Can you remember a time when you had no money
    1. A. How did you get through that together?
  • Can you remember a time when you were extremely ill?
    1. How was your spouse there for you?
    2. How did s/he make you feel?

2. Think about your future together:

1. What are your hopes and dreams?

• What do you want to do differently than you have in the past?
• What do you want to continue to do the same?

Now, come back together. Discuss with one another the thoughts and feelings you had during your reflecting. Share your good and bad memories of the past years. Spend some time laughing together and remembering those times. Share some of the most important things you discovered while thinking over your years of marriage.

Finally, separate again and begin writing your individual vows. If you want your vows to be a surprise at your renewal ceremony, then don’t let each other see what you have written. If you want to have the same vows, then stay together and begin writing your vows with each other.

If you still need some more help, check out our example renewal vows page.